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Day Drinking on the Deck

06 May

This post is part Animal Planet and part house-arrest-drinking. So if you have no interest in Neighborhood Nature or Lockdown Liquor Drinks, then move on, sister, this is no place for you.

Fun Fact.

#QuaratineLife has made me a more tuned-in day drinker.

For me, day drinking – usually reserved for vacations, weekends, and Tuesdays that piss me off – has become less reckless-college-road-trip reminiscent and more of a subdued back-deck-bourbon event.

It has become somehow less taboo in a world in which no one can smell the contents of my cup.

I’m not looking for confessions in the comments, gang, but admit it. You’ve started some early ass cocktail hours since mid-March, haven’t you?


Hamish doesn’t judge. Much.

For me, it’s also become an interesting game I play with my dog, Hamish. He wisely does not snitch to those who flirt with him during conference calls, and I, in turn, allow his backyard shenanigans when I am on my third Quarantini.

I try to exercise a modicum of restraint; I do not watch any news while imbibing so as not to become belligerent, and I eat snacks to avoid being completely legless before 7pm.

Hamish would like to point out that my cigar habit is probably not the best one to broadcast during a pandemic of a respiratory virus, but for those of you wanting cigar and Quarantini pairings – you know how to get in touch.

I am only human. I have paused Zoom to cut more limes and used the mute button to cover the noise of the blender. Sunny afternoons, Hamish and I have been known to engage in existential day drinking discourse about his thoughts on the chipmunk he has been stalking since last weekend. (And he is, of course, relentless in his never-ending orations urging me to allow his furry ass on the couch. But on this policy, thus far, I remain steadfast.)


So persuasive.

Next Fun Fact.

I am enthralled with the way nature has responded to the lack of humans and humanness out and about in the world:

Probably looking for the late night club scene, wild boars roamed the street in Catalonia.

Hungry goats taking over a seaside town in Wales.

With a lack of ferry traffic, dolphins swam into ports near Sardinia.

Leopards are lounging about in temples in southern India.

Two deer walk into town, quietly judge a souvenir shop in Nara, Japan.

And here in the U.S., coyotes enjoy a day at the beach by the Golden Gate Bridge while wild turkeys are over-running Harvard’s campus with appropriate arrogance.

On a daily, I have found that in the quiet moments, watching nature has been a soothing balm that balances with my Merlot levels and aides with pandemic anxieties.

Brace yourself, I’m about to throw my inner hippie on you.  (If you have a turtle or wolf spirit animal, then you are zen with this and can probably just skip to the cocktail recipes at the end. Everyone else, keep reading.)

We have no trees (our house was built on open farmland) but we put out as many bird feeders as we can manage. We have three pairs of Cardinals who come to feed, bluebirds, chickadees, and all manner of finches.

It’s not a Marlin Perkins flashback and it’s not the Quaranpiña Colada talking. The flapping and pecking are raucous; the singing and chirping are nothing short of magical.

quick search for the phrase birds are louder on Twitter reveals that I am not entirely alone in thinking: Are the birds chirping more fiercely these days, or do I need to drink less?

Sometimes, like a badly dubbed kung-fu movie, I give them voices and personalities to go with the flitting and flirting. The cardinals are loving and attentive, the finches are competitive. There is food enough to share, and they have all learned to fend off the asshole blue jays. I feel like there are lessons to be learned here, though I have no idea what those might be. That’s not the point is it?

Watching these birds, as well as the other critters in our backyard, has become a comforting activity in a weird house-arrest sort of way, when we don’t venture much beyond the fences.

One friend has watched a family of foxes drink water every morning from a broken bird bath lying on the ground. Another friend has a diligent wren who has built nests in his garden. The wren sings daily, diligently, to attract a mate but so far, no one has swiped right, poor fella.

We have a clutch of cottontails that live by one corner of the fence, and we hear coyotes sing some evenings. We have an elegant red tail hawk that lives nearby, and we see him hunting sometimes; I vacillate between which one I most identify with. I fear the coyote, respect the hawk, but some days I feel like the bunny.

Isn’t it ridiculous that we get so involved with our lives that we forget the world manages just fine without us in so many ways? That so many living things go on with their days, unseen and unnoticed because we are not still enough long enough to see them. My hope is that we’ll return to post-pandemic work and remember them every now and then. That we will think, “I wonder how that garter snake is faring today?” instead of “where should I go to lunch?”

In the meantime, as we all continue in this mad mad world, here’s wishing that you find some peace underneath the frogs invading your gardens, or in the birds flitting about the natural spaces in which you wander and wonder.

And, if you are lucky like me to have a backyard and a cool place to watch it, I hope you do it with your favorite drink to hand.

Here are the ShropHQ April Quarantine Cocktail recipes,
which have all been personally field tested.

(And are still tasty if you are sick of the nature
both in your backyard and in your living room!)

April’s Quarantini
*good any time of day
Over ice
Barefoot hard seltzer Pineapple and Passion fruit flavor
Sprite Zero

Or in a blender
combined with fresh strawberries!

Home-School Slushies – by subject
*Served in tall Tervis ½ way with ice – drink w straw

History
Truly hard seltzer grapefruit flavor
fill rest with pink lemonade

Math
chilled shots of El Jimador tequila

Arts
Truly hard seltzer berry flavor
with Gatorade Zero Glacier Cherry

Humanities/English
Platinum Vodka
Crystal light pink lemonade
Sprite Zero

Sciences
Truly hard seltzer wild berry
with Gatorade Zero Berry

Sunny Day Sippin’
Platinum Vodka
Sprite Zero
Crystal Light lemonade
Pomegranate juice
Drink outdoors w a good book and 15 SPF

Corona Coffee (AM)
fresh brewed coffee
Kahlua
Splash of half and half
Refill as needed

Corona Coffee X2
 *for AM Conference call with people you really don’t like
fresh brewed coffee
Kraken
Splash of half and half
Refill as needed

Typhoid Mary
* for conference calls with 3 or more people (better to make a pitcher and be prepared)
*no garnish. Make sure your tall glass/cup is not see-through

over ice
Platinum Vodka
Zing Zang Bloody Mary mix
pickled okra brine
Texas Pete
horseradish (in my case, loads)
Worcestershire
Smile after every sip

Afterschool or Recess Refreshments
over ice
Botanist or Gunpowder Gin
Food Lion Diet Tonic
three limes wedges
Drink with slow deep breaths

Quaranpiña Colada
*for only the truly devoted day drinkers or Saturdays with a chaperone
In a blender w ice
2 cups Chi Chi’s piña Colada mix (has rum in it)
2 cups Kraken rum
Garnish with pineapple if you have it
Hold on tight

drinky wink ecaard

KEEP CALM & BE KIND
Love,
Your Derelict Debutante

@DerelictDeb
#keepcalmbekind

 

 
8 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2020 in BLOG DEPOSITS

 

8 responses to “Day Drinking on the Deck

  1. Kat Bodrie

    May 6, 2020 at 8:02 pm

    LOVE IT!!! I made some mint-infused simple syrup a few months ago and have been imbibing the juleps with pleasure. Also, my friend Nikki shared her red wine sangria recipe and I’ve been jamming on that for a little while: https://www.niksnacksonline.com/2020/04/basic-red-wine-sangria.html. Cheers!

     
    • Derelict Deb

      June 15, 2020 at 12:14 pm

      Love it! All recipes are welcome!!

       
  2. Matt Morris

    May 6, 2020 at 8:13 pm

    Victoria! I just wanted to tell you that I read your posts every time they arrive out loud to my wife and we find them hysterically funny witty and really a bright spot particularly during this virus baloney….thank you so much! I just wanted to give you a shout out! Keep up the good work

    Matt

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

     
    • Derelict Deb

      June 15, 2020 at 12:35 pm

      Ah that makes my heart sing Matt! When we feel it safe, let’s have some social distance cocktails and a proper catch-up!

       
  3. Marisa

    May 7, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    Molly Mockingbird has found a tree within earshot of porch and sings loudly from dawn til dusk. You have inspired us to design a drink with her name. Cheers!

     
    • Derelict Deb

      June 15, 2020 at 12:15 pm

      And why don’t I have this recipe in my inbox already? (Ahem) Although you did invent the panty dropper martini we love so much… so you are forgiven.

       
  4. blueridgedreaming

    May 7, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    Thank you! I always love your posts (especially the bits about Hamish).

     
    • Derelict Deb

      June 15, 2020 at 12:34 pm

      Well he is a Rockstar.

       

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